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This is a copy of the profile that is shown to perspective birthparents.

This is a copy of the birth parent letter that Toby and I wrote.

   Dear Birth Family:

First, I would like to say that I hope that this letter finds you doing well. I know what a difficult time this must be in your life. I am sure the you must be feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the difficult choices you have had to make, and all the ones that still lie ahead. I can only hope that you find some degree of comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and that the future will bring you a sense of peace in the choices you made for you and for your child. And I hope you will know that we recognize how hard this is for you, and we will always make sure that our child knows how courageous and loving you were on his or her behalf. We also want you to know that we would like to include you in our lives, as well as our child's.

I would imagine you are just as curious about Toby and I as we are about you, so I will do my best to try to answer the questions I would have if I were in your shoes. I will apologize upfront for the fact that while Toby is the King of brevity, I am known for my talkative nature. At least, I will try not to bore you, as I am sure you have lots of letters to read.

My name is Michelle, I am 30 years old, and I am a concierge at local hotel. I have a brother Jim, who is married to a wonderful woman named Bernadette. They live in Marina Del Rey, and we get together frequently. I also have a brother named Carl, who lives in Colorado. Carl is an adolescent psychologist, who has given us great insights into raising a happy, secure child. Toby is 31 years old, and is a PGA golf professional. He is an only child. We are very happily married, and are a perfect testament to the adage that opposites attract. Toby enjoys golf, biking, tennis, running and Barbequing, while I enjoy traveling (especially internationally), camping, and going on excursions (such as Catalina, whale watching, museums, amusement parks, and spa days) with my friends. I have had the same friends for more than 22 years, and they are eagerly awaiting the chance to be aunts and uncles again. Between our friends we have 8 children to dote on and fawn over. And they are just as eagerly excited about new "cousins". The thing I love most about Toby is his gentle strength. He always makes me feel loved and special. He tries very hard to honor the things that important to me. And he always makes me laugh. To me, he is perfect, except for the fact that he is a horrible Taboo player.

Toby and I tried for a long time to have a baby, and went through infertility treatment. However, with the history of a stillborn daughter, and the possible risk to my health involved with pregnancy, Toby became increasingly concerned with the idea of us having a biological child. One day he called me up and asked me to attend an adoption orientation meeting for Kinship Center. The minute I spoke with Kim, I knew in my heart what Toby already felt. Adoption was the best choice for us. When we told everyone about our decision, they were filled with excitement and questions. They mainly wanted to know how long it would take, and if they could throw us a baby shower. We are so blessed to have so many people behind us. From the day we began infertility, this has been a process that involved not only Toby and I, but also our family, our friends, our colleagues, our pastor, and our doctors. All of whom have provided us with immeasurable strength, wisdom, and support, and all of whom want to be just as intregal a part of our child's life.

I would imagine that you would like to know how we envision life for a child. I think the best way for me to tell you the life I would hope to give a child is by telling you a little bit about my childhood. I have a wonderful Italian family. They are not without their flaws, mind you, but they are full of energy and passion. And most of all they are full of love. Everything I know today, everything I am, I owe to my family.

When I was young, my father (who loves adventures) took us camping and backpacking often. On one particular trip, we discovered a natural water slide. My father, being an engineer, made some experiments to test the safety of the slide. After determining that though it had a slight under tow, it was safe, my brothers and I went to try it out. I walked out to the slide, and chickened out a couple of times because I was afraid of getting caught in the under tow. Finally, my father told me that if I walked out again, I would have to go down because the rocks were becoming slippery, and I might slip if I tried to walk back again. I worked up the courage, walked out to the slide, and promptly chickened out again. And sure enough, as I attempted to walk back, I slipped, fell down the rocks, and directly into the under tow. As I came up, sputtering and crying, I made it to the edge of the water and asked my dad to lift me out. He sat on the edge of the water, and refused. I was enraged. Was my father honestly going to let me drown? No, of course not. It took me about 5 minutes, I calmed down, and lifted myself out of the water, and did not talk to my father for the rest of the day. You might wonder why I chose that particular story to tell you about my father. I chose it because it is among my favorites. When I asked my father why he didn't help me, he said, " because you didn't need me. You are a good swimmer. You just had to stop panicking long enough to remember that. Besides, I was right there, and if you needed me, I would have jumped right in.". On that day, I learned something about my father and myself that I have carried with me everyday since. About myself I learned that if I didn't panic I could do just about anything. And about my father I learned that he believed in me, even when I was less confidant. He trusted me to take care of myself, but he would always be on the water's edge ready to jump in and save me, should I ever need it. His faith in me, instilled a confidence in me that allowed me to do the unimaginable. I have flown a plane, swam with dolphins, traveled on my own through Europe, and even gone bungee jumping. From my father, I would like to teach a child that he can be whatever he wants to be, and achieve whatever he can dream. I would also like to pass along my fathers passion for learning and reading.

When I was 9 years old, my family moved from New York to California. In New York, we started each day with the pledge of allegiance. In California we did not. This was not o.k. with my mother. She went to the school every morning, and stood in the principal's office, and made sure he led the school through the pledge every morning. The principal and my mother are friends to this day. My mother is a force to be reckoned with, all 4'11" of her. What I learned from her was that the things we believe in are worth fighting for. I learned that one person can make a difference. And of course, I developed an incredible sense of patriotism. My mother taught me many things, but most of all she taught me love. Not in one story, but in all the little things she did. Things like staying up until midnight to make the choir dress that I had waited until the last minute to tell her she needed to make. Things like making me farina when everyone else was eating oatmeal, just because I liked it better. Things like leaving surprises in my lunch bag. Things like still having sprite in the refrigerator in case I happen to drop by. What I hope to pass on from my mother is that sense of unconditional love. The knowledge that he is loved and cherished beyond all measure, And that with that kind of love behind you, you can change the world.

The thing, besides unconditional love, that best defines our family is tradition. My family is riddled with traditions. Traditions we habitually make fun of all year long, but look forward to with excitement and anticipation. Like our annual easter egg hunt. Every year, "The Easter Bunny" hides eggs for us to find. They are color coded, and my brothers and I are each given a certain color scheme. Mine are the pastels. Each year, we compete to find all of our eggs first. I always lost. Until 2000. It was always said, that the year I won, we would stop the annual event, but on the year I won, my brothers begged to continue it the following year to reclaim their victories over me. We knew then that this would never end. My favorite tradition is Thanksgiving Weekend. Being Italian, holiday dinners are huge part of our life. We begin eating at 1pm, and don't stop until 10pm. The day is filled with incredible amounts of delicious food, and the retelling of favorite family stories. A thanksgiving favorite is about the year I saw the grease from the turkey spark in the oven, and doused the entire stove, turkey included, with a fire extinguisher. And then over dessert, we make fun of my mother's tarone cart. It is a horribly ugly horse and cart that holds the tarone. It is from Italy, and my mother loves it. We think it is an eyesore. She tells us that when she dies, this will be the thing we fight over. We tell her it will be the heirloom jewelry, but in my heart, I think she is right. That horse symbolizes a piece of heritage, and is present in all our holiday memories. The day after Thanksgiving, we set up our Christmas tree, and my mother turns the house in to a virtual wonderland. There are 2 trees at my parents house. One for all the nice Christmas ornaments, and one in the kitchen that holds every ornament we have ever made from the day we were born. They are all faded and chipped now, but my mother puts them up just the same. Our favorites are: A HUGE orange dreidle that says, "Jimmy" in glittered letters, a plain Styrofoam ball without a single embellishment on it, just a tag that says, "Carl", and a Dixie cup that is made into a bell, and says "Shelly" inside- a name I have not used since I was 3. It is a tree that we love to ridicule, but a tree we cherish for the history it represents. And I know that someday, I will have a similar tree in my own kitchen.

There are so many things we want our child to experience, and so much we want to give. We want to show him the world. Literally. Having had exchange students for so long, I have a huge extended family all around the world, and they are can't wait to share their language and culture with our child. We also want our child to experience the joys of outdoor activities, such as: hiking, camping, river rafting, horseback riding, and backpacking. We want him ( or her, either would be wonderful for us, but for simplicity sake, I will just write him.) to participate in all the rites of childhood, like scouting, and music lessons. We want to teach him to swim, and dance, and ride a bike. And Toby wants to teach him golf, naturally. But beyond all extra curricular things we want to teach him, we want to instill in our child a love of learning. My parents always spent so much time making education fun for us, and it something I will be eternally grateful for. We want provide the opportunity for him to explore the many different studies of education and art. My passions are Law and Social Ecology, Shakespearean Literature, Foreign Language and Culture, and US History, and Toby's are Math and Physics.

We would love to have been able to promise you that we would never make a mistake, and that we would have all the answers to all of life's big questions. But the truth is, Toby and I are incredibly nervous, and full of questions, and have no idea what we will do in so many situations. And we know that all we can really promise a child is that we will love him, completely, and unconditionally. We promise to respect him, offer him honest advice, listen to him, believe in him, nurture him, and grow with him. We will be a little bit more attentive when he is sick, or scared, or sad. We will teach him to be fair, and tolerant, and compassionate. We will try to remember that while our perceptions are based on experience and wisdom, his are unjaded and honest, and that while our eyes are higher and can see further, his are closer to the ground and can see more detail. We will provide a good education for him, and every opportunity he will need to learn and grow and be successful. We will embrace him when he wins, and a little bit longer when he doesn't. We will give him the tools to make his own choices, and stand beside him as he begins to navigate his own life. We will teach him that it is not genetics, money, power, abilities, or inabilities that truly define a person, it is character. We will teach him that with a little bit of effort, he can achieve anything he can dream. We will teach him that he can not solve all the problems of the world, but he should do his best to fix the ones he can, and not contribute to the ones he can't. We will teach him to stand up for those who have not yet found their voice, or are not yet able to stand up for themselves. We will teach him to follow his heart. We promise to laugh with him when he is laughing, and dry is tears when he is crying. We promise to give him a sense of pride, and a strong faith. We promise to wait up for him when he is old enough to go out, and make sure that he is safe. And above all, we promise to tell him, every single day, that we love him.

In closing we would like to say that whatever you decide, we admire your bravery, and your love for this child. It occurs to me that we are not so different in this. We both found ourselves in a situation we did not plan, and we are both trying to make the best choices we can in the situation we have found ourselves in. And I think it is wonderful that somehow, those two life circumstances can come together in a common solution, and we each can fulfill our own dreams. If you choose to let us adopt your baby, you would forever have a place in our hearts, and our lives. And we would work with you to create a happy, secure, and loving relationship with our child.

If you have any questions, or would simply like to get to know us better, you can contact Melissa Dodson at the Kinship Center, 714-979-2365. Or you can email us at: Baby@TheToddHouse.com. You can also visit us on the web at: www.thetoddhouse.com

Warmest Wishes,

Toby and Michelle